The Week "END" Review! 8-29-10

Last week's post, after reading it, was very depressing, and after actually picking up the book and reading.  It was not so bad.  I guess I just had a bad case of nerves.

We had our first “official” week of school and I did not start on the right foot because I did not get the appropriate amount of sleep (because I procrastinated and didn’t start studying until 5pm) so by the time I left work and made it to class, I was exhausted.
Funny story – As I was about to leave work and head to campus to get some reading done before class, my boss asked me did I have my books in the car. After replying yes, he requested that I go get them out of the car and go over the cases with him!!!! At first I was like what????? Nevertheless I am so grateful that he took interest because he really help me understand the cases and I felt like, “Ok I think I can do this.” I felt like I comprehended the material and actually went to class with confidence.

I am becoming more confident that I will do well my first semester.  Now that my mental state is getting better, I need to start focusing on my procrastination.  This needs to be eliminated before next weekend.  It is a problem that I am glad I am noticing now.  At the beginning of the week I was thinking that maybe working and going to school is not the best thing for me, but I am wrong.  I am learning a lot at work and all I really need to do is use my time wisely (and truthfully I am not).

OHHHH...  This week has been interesting in the money department.  I try to remain as discrete as possible because I do not want ANYTHING coming back to haunt me, but I can officially say I HATE THE FINANCIAL AID DEPARTMENT.  I just want someone to explain to me how can I do everything in a timely (no EARLY) fashion, and every step of the way I have had issues.  It came to a point this week that it distracted me from concentrating in a seminar that I was attending.  Thank goodness I have a job making a little money or I would be up the street.  The sad thing is that I still don't have my money and don't even know when I am going to get it.  SMH.......

Lastly, a "blast from my past" came to town this weekend.  It was a pleasant surprise to say the least.  It made me aware of how I want a relationship, but how right now..... it would not be possible.  How selfish would I be to try and start something now?  I barely can find time during the week to eat dinner and then my weekends (should) consist of studying.  It would be impossible. 

Next weekend is Labor Day weekend and I wanting to use those THREE days to read ahead and get on the ball. 

Wish me luck!!!

The Week "END" Review! 8-22-10

This week has been the accumulation of six years of anguish, depression, recovery, determination, and redemption. For the past six years, I have been a walking zombie of sorts. Not knowing where I was going or what to do. Just aimlessly roaming here on this planet. Finally, I feel that I am on the path to something; I have a realistic view on my future and not changing it every other year. Knowing that even me is worthy of second chances.

Even with all of this, this week I have came across the same obstacles I encounter six years ago. I am having a hard time picking up the books to even open them up and start to read them. IT’S WEEK ONE PEOPLE and I am stressing over if I can comprehend the material!! It is strange that I can stress over something that has not even happened yet. It is strange that even before opening up a book, I already “assume” that I am not going to comprehend the material. I really need to talk to someone and see why I am like this.

Why did I do all of this (working on myself, reapplying to law school, and being accepted) to only revert right back to the very thing that made me fail? I truly believed that I had changed. Six years ago I didn’t know I had this problem, I didn’t know at the time that I was unconsciously setting myself up for failure because I stepping outside of my comfort zone, now coming into this situation KNOWING that my fear of failure is basically paralyzing me, I don’t know how to fix it.

I do know that it has nothing to do with law school personally; I am dealing with this on my quest to weight lost also.

In a couple of hours, I am going to try ONCE AGAIN, to open up my contract book, read the two chapters I scheduled myself to read and brief the cases inside of these chapters. Then on to Criminal law where I plan to read the first 100 pages and brief cases associated with these pages, then to Legal Writing and Legal Research.

Wish me luck.

The Week "END" Review! 8-15-10

Well well well........  This week has truly been a roller coaster ride for me!!!!

It started Monday, major drama with the school and with my financial aid.  OMG!!!  What is the purpose of doing everything in a timely fashion when the school and/or administration is not doing what they need to do?? 

Tuesday I received the last of all my books.

By Wednesday, all was good again (regarding financial aid/registration) and then my focus was on the Orientation.

Thursday I was a nervous wreck.  Everyone (family and friends) kept laughing and picking with me saying, "Why are you nervous? Its only orientation!!"  When I made it there it felt like......wow.....I was sitting in this same spot SIX YEARS AGO!  It made me even more aware of what I need to do. 

Friday I caught up with my brother from another mother and was really glad I saw him before he left town and before school.

Saturday.........  I got a tattoo!!! I been wanting one since high school and thank goodness I did not get one then!!!  They would have been real hood and ghetto if I would have got one then.  I always had this thing that I had to think about it for one entire year and if I still wanted it, I would get it.  Well from ages 18-25/26, I could never like the same thing for the entire year.  However for a year and a half, I have really been wanting a particular thing in a particular area.  Yesterday as I was driving, it dawned on me, "it's now or never".  I don't know if it was a good "lawyer" move, but that's what makeup, watches, and bracelets are for!!

I went by myself and just took in the moment. 

The Week "END" Review! 8-8-10

This week (and last) has been uneventful.  Just getting comfortable and settled into my new job. 

Enjoying the last couple of days I have left before they are consumed with reading and briefing cases. 

Enjoying eating what I want and being lazy before I start the Insanity workout.

Basically this week is my final week of freedom. 

Thursday night I have orientation and to say that I am nervous is an understatement.  I went to a political function last week and while mingling with attorneys, one in particular informed me that this years incoming 1L class was double the size they usually have.  Then they went on to say, "Please be on it, because with a size like that, they will be flunking people left and right."  WTF!!!!  That is not what I needed to hear!!

Now my nerves are really bad.  I am going to use Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday reading over the material they gave us.  We will be placed in groups during some part of orientation and have to discuss each situation.  I think that there are a total of 7, so I will read three tomorrow and two the other nights.

Wish me luck and next Sunday I will be back to tell you about orientation!!!

The Week "END" Review! 7-11-10

This week has been interesting... More of a roller coaster ride to be exact.

I learned that the job I was offered is no longer available (well it is no longer available to me!). I was really not given an explanation other than to call HR. This is after the FACT that I was offered the job, took and pass the drug test, criminal background check, AND lie detector exam. Most importantly this was AFTER they told me that I needed to register my car in Louisiana before the week was over (this was on a Monday and had to have it done by that Friday). So here I am trying to come up with $800.00 to register the car, get my Louisiana license back, and to get a Louisiana insurance policy. After all this you tell me, "I am sorry, but the job offer is no longer available to you." WHAT????!!!! Thank goodness I was smart enough to stay at my current job until I was given my start date.

After the anger went away, I started to think that maybe this is a blessing in disguise. Maybe I am right where I am suppose to be. It may not pay well, but other things outweigh that significantly. I can and am making great connections with people in the legal community and I am gaining tons of real life courtroom experience that I would never receive from sitting in a classroom. Basically I am walking in faith because it is obvious that this is where God wants me to be right now and who am I go against that?

In other (good) news......

I will officially be moving closer to work and school Friday!!! I am becoming roommates with one of my closet friends (she has been on this journey with me and been one of my biggest supporters). To say I am excited is an understatement:

1. I will literally be TEN MINUTES (at the most) away from work!!! It has been taking me 2 hours to get to work and at least 1 1/2 hours to get home.
2. 15 minutes from school.
3. No more country life!!!! I will be living in the capital city downtown in the heart of everything!!!

Lastly, I basically spent the weekend packing and being up under my mom.  I had not lived with her since I was 17 and went off to college.  So here I am after 10 years moving back in with my mom, this was a major adjustment for us to say the least.  LOL!!!!  Nevertheless a great one, I would not trade it for the world, but its time for me to go.  SEE YA LATER!!!!