The Week "END" Review! 8-22-10

This week has been the accumulation of six years of anguish, depression, recovery, determination, and redemption. For the past six years, I have been a walking zombie of sorts. Not knowing where I was going or what to do. Just aimlessly roaming here on this planet. Finally, I feel that I am on the path to something; I have a realistic view on my future and not changing it every other year. Knowing that even me is worthy of second chances.

Even with all of this, this week I have came across the same obstacles I encounter six years ago. I am having a hard time picking up the books to even open them up and start to read them. IT’S WEEK ONE PEOPLE and I am stressing over if I can comprehend the material!! It is strange that I can stress over something that has not even happened yet. It is strange that even before opening up a book, I already “assume” that I am not going to comprehend the material. I really need to talk to someone and see why I am like this.

Why did I do all of this (working on myself, reapplying to law school, and being accepted) to only revert right back to the very thing that made me fail? I truly believed that I had changed. Six years ago I didn’t know I had this problem, I didn’t know at the time that I was unconsciously setting myself up for failure because I stepping outside of my comfort zone, now coming into this situation KNOWING that my fear of failure is basically paralyzing me, I don’t know how to fix it.

I do know that it has nothing to do with law school personally; I am dealing with this on my quest to weight lost also.

In a couple of hours, I am going to try ONCE AGAIN, to open up my contract book, read the two chapters I scheduled myself to read and brief the cases inside of these chapters. Then on to Criminal law where I plan to read the first 100 pages and brief cases associated with these pages, then to Legal Writing and Legal Research.

Wish me luck.